<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Heavy In Your Arms by AguScribbles</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29465718">Heavy In Your Arms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AguScribbles/pseuds/AguScribbles'>AguScribbles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Blind is the Beast [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blindness, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Making Out, Mild Hurt/Comfort, idiots to lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 13:27:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,194</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29465718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AguScribbles/pseuds/AguScribbles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Geralt's last contract before retreating to Kaer Morhen for winter goes horribly wrong.<br/>Now Mr. "I don't need anybody" has to rely on other people's help and has a hard time adjusting.</p><p><em>"And is it worth the wait</em><br/><em>All this killing time?</em><br/><em>Are you strong enough to stand?</em><br/><em>Protecting both your heart and mine?</em><br/>***<br/><em>I was a heavy heart to carry</em><br/><em>But he never let me down</em><br/><em>When he held me in his arms</em><br/><em>My feet never touched the ground."</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Blind is the Beast [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2293136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>149</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heavy In Your Arms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my attempt at a helpless Geralt! I wanted to explore his and Jaskier's relationship, when Geralt gets badly injured and NEEDS to rely on others! Instead on focusing on hurt Geralt, this whole thing kinda turned into an idiots to lovers, but I don't see how that's a bad thing :D</p><p>Also, this is written with no regards to time and space, so place it on the Witcher's timeline whenever you like :) I also have no real knowledge of the monsters in the Witcher universe and idk if a witcher can actually get temporarily blind, but this was such a tempting idea to me, so licentia poetica, I guess!</p><p>Title and inspirational lyrics provided by the one and only Florence and the Machine!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Geralt felt in his bones that this was no good time for a hunt. The skies were getting dark quickly and the howling wind brought heavy, threatening clouds. Winter came earlier this year, a sheet of snow was already covering the whole valley and not only the mountains.</p><p>He needed the money, though. So as the baron caught news of a Witcher staying over in a village near Ban Gleann and offered him three hundred ducats for killing a giant centipede, Geralt accepted. He was only a few days road away from home, so a quick detour wouldn't hurt and he could really use the coin.</p><p>
  <em>Just this one job before winter and I'll be off to Kaer Morhen.</em>
</p><p>He planned to lure the monster before sundown to the open fields, where he would easily be able to swing both his swords at the same time and cut the centipede's head off in a rather theatrical fashion. The baron said he would toss an additional hundred to his pay if he brought the head back for his sorcerer to examine.</p><p>The scolopendromorph, unfortunately, wasn't as cooperative as Geralt would've wished. The giant centipede found him first, or rather made its presence visible, on a narrow path in the middle of the woods, where it attacked a countryman and his son, who were trying to get their cart safely through the snow.</p><p>The boy's piercing screams were heard throughout the woods, as Geralt sprinted in their direction, drawing his silver sword. </p><p>"Don't move! Shut up!!" he spew at the boy after jumping over some bushes, startling the kid and causing him to shriek even louder.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>Before he could hit the monster with Yrden, it has already disappeared underground. This was getting much harder than Geralt wanted it to be.</p><p>"Get on your cart right now!" Geralt shouted at the man. "Take the boy! Don't move and stay quiet!"</p><p>"But isn't it gone now?" asked the boy.</p><p>"Shut. Up." Geralt gritted his teeth. "If you want to live, stay here."</p><p>Geralt got down on one knee and felt the ground. He heard the frantic heartbeat of the little boy, smelled his fear, but concentrated his senses on locating the monster. The darkness, quickly engulfing the woods, wasn't as big of a problem as the icy patches hidden threateningly under the snow. Geralt focused and waited, his silver sword prepared in one hand, the other hand ready to cast the Sign as soon as the monster emerged again.</p><p>The scolopendromorph jumped out from the ground on the other side of the farmer's cart, its mandibles ready to bite, but Geralt was faster. Before the creature could attack, he hit the soil with Yrden, so it couldn't bury itself in the ground again. Then he charged at it with his sword ready.</p><p>The giant centipede was quite a challenge, but couldn't match Geralt's speed and skill. His smooth movements, so well practiced for the past few decades, looked more like a dance than a fight. Two steps forward, quick cut, half spin, another cut, a fast jump back just to hit the monster with another Sign. </p><p>It seemed to be over soon, it seemed as the creature confused by Geralt's constantly changing movements couldn't locate him to deliver a deadly blow. Geralt got his sword ready for the final hit, more than prepared to stick it right through the centipede's throat.</p><p>And then his foot slipped on an fucking icy rock. He lost balance for a split second and missed the scolopendromorph's head by a few inches, only scratching its chitinous armor.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>The giant centipede used its advantage and attacked, going straight for Geralt's neck with its mandibles. He pushed back immediately, cutting a few of its limbs off, but he was still a tad too close, and the creature's other knife-sharp limbs slashed his thigh in a few places. Thick, almost black streaks of blood soaked through Geralt's pants immediately and dripped on the snowy ground.</p><p>Not thinking much, he hit the monster with Aard and got ready, again, to deliver the final blow. He was getting tired and the scolopendromorph was furious, and still managed to attack with vicious speed. It jumped up, throwing particles of snow in the air, ready to dig its venomous mandibles in Geralt's flesh. Geralt spinned around, his blade aimed at the creature's throat and delivered a cut. The beast released an ugly gargling noise and then spew its venom on Geralt, the acidic liquid hitting him in the eyes.</p><p>"Fucking hell!" Geralt's vision went blurry and then it got completely dark. He buried his sword in the creature's throat up to the hilt and then cut swiftly.</p><p>He heard the gross sound of the centipede's blood spilling and then the familiar thud of its head hitting the snowy road. Geralt fell to his knees, breathing heavily, he wiped his eyes with the back of his gloved hand. The venom has already done it's job, it stung like hell and he saw only darkness. He felt around his wounded leg to find it ugly swollen.</p><p>"Fuck. That's what you get for being a greedy bitch, Geralt," he mumbled and fell facefirst into the snow, fainting.</p>
<hr/><p>"Don't you worry, Master Witcher, we got you," he heard the countryman's coarse voice. Shaky hands were hauling him up the little wooden cart, helping him get comfortable on the hay and jute sacks. The man smelled of stress and sweat but wasn't scared.</p><p>"The head... I need its head..." Geralt managed faintly.</p><p>"You lay still, Master Witcher, we will get you to the baron and tell him about all you did for us," the man's voice was comforting and reassuring.</p><p>Geralt sighed. <em>Fuck. Should've went straight home and not take this contract. Now I have no money and I can't see.</em></p><p>"Where's my horse?" Geralt didn't hear Roach and couldn't smell her. "I need my bag, quickly," he added, muffling a hiss caused by the stinging sensation in his eyes. He needed to use the elixirs soon, to reverse the damage done by the venom.</p><p>"Boris," he heard the man turn to his son. "Go fetch Master Witcher's bag, he needs his medicine."</p><p>Geralt smelled the boy's fear still lingering on his skin, heard the clinking of his teeth. He was basically frozen in place. Geralt huffed.</p><p>"I'll get it, don't bother the boy," he offered and moved to jump off the cart.</p><p>A strong hand pressed down against his chest and made him lay back again. "Please. You saved my son's life, we owe you everything."</p><p>"Hmmm. Thank you," Geralt mumbled. "I'll be off your backs as soon as we get to the Path."</p><p>The elixirs did bring some relief. He poured some on his awfully swollen leg and the boy helped him wipe his eyes with a rag soaked in another mixture. The stinging sensation faded, but he still didn't see anything. This definitely didn't go as planned, but Geralt was determined to get at least some of his pay and take off to Kaer Morhen as soon as possible. The snowy mountains were no fun to travel through even when he didn't suffer from temporary blindness, so he needed to hurry.</p><p>He drank another potion to numb the headache that came as a result of inhaling some of the creature's venom and dozed off.</p>
<hr/><p>The farmer's cart was slowly proceeding forward on the slippery pavement in Ban Gleann, shaking him out of his sleep. Geralt tried to adjust his senses to determine where he was and what was going on. The throbbing pain in his head didn't cease and not being able to see was extremely annoying. It was snowing a little, now and then a tiny snowflake would land on Geralt's forehead and melt immediately. The city's buzz was all around him - merchants were shouting, children crying, here and there a loud neighing would indicate a horse was protesting against hauling an especially heavy cart. The city smelled of fish, cheap booze and excrements.</p><p>"Make way! Make way! We need to get this Witcher to the baron!" he heard the countryman's strained voice, as he tried to navigate their lot through the busy streets.</p><p>Even though Geralt didn't see anything, he could sense the people's hostility, he heard their grumps and huffs upon seeing a witcher on the cart. He was glad he couldn't read minds, would be definitely an interesting thing to catch the <em>real </em>thoughts of some of the city's inhabitants. One or two people even went out of their way to kick the cart while it passed them, causing Geralt's wounded leg to sting even more. </p><p>
  <em>Just get the money and be on your way.</em>
</p><p>"Please, good people, make way!" the farmer's exasperated voice was heard over the city's buzz. "Master Witcher got hurt while saving my son, we need to help him!"</p><p>And then, even though it was obscured by the city's tumult, Geralt sensed that well-known flutter of a human heart, unlike any other he had heard and felt on his path. The heartbeat, quick as if it was a caged bird desperately trying to escape, got stronger, as the person made their way to the farmer's cart.</p><p>"A witcher?! Excuse me, people, let me get through, I need to see the witcher!" a high-pitched but not unpleasant voice was heard above the noise. </p><p>A pair of hands grabbed the cart's edge, forcing the man to stop their lot, and a whiff of familiar scents hit Geralt's nose. Lavender, chestnut, and a whole lot of anxiety. And linseed oil, used to preserve wooden instruments.</p><p>"Gods above, Geralt, what are you doing here, what happened?!" Jaskier's piercing voice hit his ears. "Old man, what is going on?! What happened to his eyes?!"</p><p>"Jaskier. Long time no see," Geralt managed with a faint smile.</p><p>"Are you kidding me?! You look like hell! What happened?!"</p><p>"You asked that already," Geralt sighed and shifted on the cart, causing a burning sensation in the injured leg. "My last hunt didn't go exactly as planned..." he hissed. "Anyway, I gotta... Collect my pay and..." he didn't finish, instead he gritted his teeth in pain and fell unconscious.</p>
<hr/><p>"With his healing abilities, that nasty wound should be a thing of the past soon," Geralt heard an unfamiliar voice above his head, as he regained his consciousness.</p><p>"Luckily he used the potions right away," another voice added. "I have examined his eyes and he will, eventually, regain his sight fully, but no sooner than in two weeks."</p><p>Geralt smelled the bitter scent of various herbs on one of the men, the other smelled heavily of dust and ink and electricity. Must've been a healer and the baron's sorcerer. Geralt decided to fake being still asleep, but then he caught a third smell - strong lavender and citrus tones and a heavy tang of... longing? <em>Jaskier. </em></p><p>Geralt tried to open his eyes, but they were wrapped with a bandage blindfold. <em>"Fuck," </em>he exclaimed.</p><p>"Oh, Geralt, thank gods, you're back with us!" Jaskier's voice trembled with worry, as he sat on Geralt's bed and grabbed his hand, clutching it to his chest. "I was <em>so</em> worried when I found you on that farmer's cart, but, bless the benevolent hand of Destiny, I used my connections to get you here all safe and sound!"</p><p>Geralt huffed and tried to sit up on the bed, the pain in his thigh making him cuss under his breath.</p><p>"You can go now, gentlemen," Jaskier got up. "We're forever grateful for your help, but my friend needs his rest now."</p><p>Geralt felt the blindfold with his hands, made a scrawny face. His hands travelled along his body - he was wearing a linen shirt that smelled of washing powder and definitely wasn't his and also his pants were gone, leaving him only in his smalls, probably to let his wounded leg breathe. The cut places were wrapped professionally in bandages.</p><p>"Where the fuck are my clothes?"</p><p>"<em>Well thank you, Jaskier, for saving my ass and caring for me while I was unconscious</em>," Jaskier's voice was mocking but with a hint of hurt almost unnoticeable to human ears. But Geralt wasn't human. "Just to let you know," Jaskier continued, "the baron is very glad that you slayed that whatever-monster-it-was and he let you stay in his chambers till you get better. I had you washed and then checked up by his healer while you were asleep. I'm not a greedy man, a simple 'thank you' would suffice."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Geralt didn't see but he could sense Jaskier beam up. He sat back on Geralt's bed, shuffling around to get more comfortable, and huffed with contentment.</p><p>"And my swords?" Geralt turned a worried face in Jaskier's general direction.</p><p>"Your babies are safely storaged in this crate by the far wall," Jaskier put a reassuring hand on Geralt's chest. "Don't worry, I took care of everything, and will keep doing so till you get better."</p><p>Geralt felt the atmosphere in the room shift, as Jaskier waited for another expression of gratitude from him. His hand was still placed firmly on Geralt's chest and its warm fingers lingered as if to check for Geralt's heartbeat. The silence in the room was almost deafening.</p><p>Geralt cleared his throat, grabbed Jaskier's hand and placed it on the bed next to him.</p><p>"You said you were going to stay in Toussaint for the whole winter," Geralt started. "Didn't expect to meet you all the way up here."</p><p>"The countess and I decided to take a short break from each other, to keep our love's flame ablaze with the mutual longing..."</p><p>"The husband returned sooner than you expected?" Geralt asked with a sarcastic smile.</p><p>"Wh-... Well, yes," Jaskier's voice sounded <em>almost </em>embarrassed and Geralt didn't need to see to know that his cheeks and ears turned a lovely pinkish red. "Still I feel this was Destiny's doing, that our paths crossed now. Look at you Geralt, all bruised up and blinded."</p><p>"I've been worse," Geralt huffed.</p><p>"Oh, of course, I believe you were! Yet, I can't imagine the distress you would've gone through if it wasn't for me to take care of you and bring you here!" Jaskier's tone was genuinely worried but, at the same time verging on self-satisfied. "Who knows what would've happened to you after the farmer had dropped you off somewhere!"</p><p>"I'd probably just collect my pay and be on my way to Kaer Morhen, like I planned," Geralt replied deadpan.</p><p>"And how <em>exactly</em> did you plan on doing that while being blind and fainting every now and then?" Jaskier's voice was now cocky and Geralt <em>knew</em> without seeing that his friend had put an assessing hand on his hip to emphasize his statement.</p><p>Geralt didn't answer. Instead he managed to send Jaskier a faint smile and squeeze his hand in a silent agreement.</p><p>"Don't worry about anything, Geralt. I'm gonna stay here with you for as long as you need," Jaskier sounded calm and reassuring, but there was something underneath his tone that made Geralt wonder why exactly Jaskier wanted to stay.</p>
<hr/><p>The next week was all but a stream of reoccurring events. The healer would come by to check up on Geralt's recovery process and to leave some herbal concoctions to speed his healing up. Geralt was supposed to lay in bed as much as possible, getting up only when absolutely necessary and of course, he shouldn't put any pressure on his injured leg.</p><p>Jaskier would stay at Geralt's side at all times, giving a helping hand and being Geralt's eyes when needed. Geralt would protest and shoo him away, and convince him he's fine, but Jaskier was persistent.</p><p>When Geralt wanted to go take a leak and got out of the bed, awkwardly hopping on one leg, so he wouldn't put any weight on the injured one, Jaskier would appear out of nowhere and offer him a shoulder to rely on. Geralt would grunt and wriggle out of Jaskier's grasp, mutter out a "I can do it myself!" only to spectacularly walk into the wall two steps later. Jaskier would never laugh at him, even though he had all the opportunities, and offer him a helping hand instead.</p><p>Jaskier would assist Geralt in the bath and would specifically ask all the maids to give them their privacy.</p><p>"I can wash myself just fine," Geralt tried to protest, after using Jaskier's arm for balance while getting into the tub.</p><p>"Of course you can, you're a big boy now," Jaskier would retort mockingly and proceed to shampoo Geralt's hair without a word.</p><p>Geralt would grunt in response, but he'd eventually give in to Jaskier's touch and release his tensed shoulders while getting his scalp massaged gently by those lanky delicate fingers.</p><p>When Geralt got soup for dinner, Jaskier would insist with all his determination, that he should be the one to feed him. Geralt would snort in reply and proceed to eat, leaving a trail of drops from his chin all the way down to his shirt. He could sense Jaskier shift anxiously nearby, and so he would place his spoon on the table with a huff.</p><p>"<em>Fine</em>, help me."</p><p>Jaskier would eagerly proceed to feed him, wipe his chin tenderly and leave an affectionate kiss on Geralt's forehead, before he could sense what was going on and protest.</p><p>At night, Jaskier would tuck Geralt to bed, like a doting mother hen, while also unceremoniously laying beside him to sleep, as if it was the most normal thing to do. Geralt would fuss and order Jaskier to "go find a room", but eventually he felt grateful that he had him by his side, fetching him water in the middle of the night or wiping his forehead when he would once again break out in sweat.</p><p>When the baron's page boy came with Geralt's pay, Jaskier snatched the pouch first and diligently counted all the coins. Geralt could hear him grit his teeth and mumble to himself, before snapping at the boy.</p><p>"The Witcher was promised three hundred ducats and there is fifty missing!" </p><p>The boy shuffled awkwardly and sniffed, mumbling something about being only the messenger.</p><p>"Sir Witcher may be distressed, but do let the baron know, that the Viscount of Lettenhove, Julian Alfred Pankratz, is keeping an eye on his affairs." Jaskier put on his noble tone while ignoring Geralt's muffled chuckling. "I want to see the rest of the coin by sundown."</p><p>When the boy left, Geralt burst out laughing wholeheartedly, then turned to where he last smelled Jaskier's lavender scent. "Thank you," he said sincerely, only to add after a while with a smirk: "I'll be forever in your debt, Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount of Lettenhove."</p><p>"Oh, shut up, Geralt!" he got an exasperated sigh in response.</p><p>Geralt would huff and fuss and protest, but eventually he learned to appreciate Jaskier's help. For the first time in his life he didn't have to fend for himself, tend to his own wounds, make sure the pay was fine and that he'd have a place to sleep at night. He could finally properly rest, for the first time in ages. He felt safe.</p><p>Jaskier took care of him eagerly and seemed to truly enjoy it, being his chatty and bubbly and <em>soft </em>self. He stayed at Geralt's side without any complaint, always making sure he was comfortable, well fed, and rested. With a side of anxiety, but Geralt gave himself permission to be vulnerable around Jaskier. He stopped fussing and protesting. He never asked for help, though, no - it was a big step for him to just accept Jaskier's administrations with an occasional "thank you" whispered under his breath.</p>
<hr/><p>The days were stagnant and boring in their routine, but one night things changed a lot.</p><p>The howling wind bringing a snowstorm woke Geralt up. He lifted his blindfold and opened his eyes only to see darkness, just as during the days and nights before. <em>Fuck.</em> Geralt couldn't really wait for his vision to be back. The wounds on his leg were itching terribly, although a good sign in the bigger picture, a symptom of the cuts healing. Still uncomfortable as fuck.</p><p>Jaskier was sleeping at his side, nestled comfortably between his chest and arm, his supple cheek pressed against Geralt's torso. His breath was calm and steady, almost in sync with Geralt's achingly slow heartbeat. Geralt felt a drizzle of drool spilling from Jaskier's mouth onto his shirt but, surprisingly to himself, he didn't find it annoying but heartwarming. Jaskier was so incredibly, unapologetically <em>human.</em></p><p>Jaskier inched closer, wrapping a sleepy arm around Geralt's waist and nuzzling at his neck. Unconsciously, Geralt pressed his nose to Jaskier's temple and breathed his sweet scent in. No matter how many days they'd spend on the Path or how nasty an inn they stayed at on their journeys, Jaskier never smelled bad. Musky, earthy tones, yes, but never unpleasant. Geralt wondered what his secret was.</p><p>He absent-mindedly caressed Jaskier's shoulder and arm, trying to drift back to unconsciousness, when Jaskier threw one of his legs over his thigh, sighing deeply in his sleep, and pressing himself even more flush against Geralt's torso.</p><p>Geralt stiffened. It's been months since he's been so close with anyone, he almost couldn't remember the last time when someone had cuddled up to him so eagerly and without having to be paid beforehand. He sighed deeply. Being emotional, open to others, vulnerable - it all came so naturally to Jaskier, whereas Geralt, on the other hand, learned the hard way that people will use every opportunity to hurt or betray you. He was better off alone, safe in his shell of indifference and detachment.</p><p>He did feel sudden gratitude towards Jaskier, though. His friend was always at his side when needed, and now he took extra care of Geralt, expecting nothing but a humble "thank you" in return.</p><p>"Thank you for taking care of me, Jaskier," Geralt whispered, playing lazily with Jaskier's disheveled hair.</p><p>"You're welcome. That's what lovers do," he heard a reply.</p><p>If Geralt could, he'd give Jaskier a puzzled look. Instead he just shifted uncomfortably under Jaskier's weight with his eyebrows raised, trying to figure out if it was just his sleepy ramblings. "Wh-... What?"</p><p>"I love you, Geralt," Jaskier mumbled, tightening his grip around Geralt's waist.</p><p>If you ever needed a definition of "dumbstruck", this is exactly how Geralt felt. He lay under Jaskier's warm and soft body and on one hand hoped this was all just a dream, that Jaskier was dreaming of the countess and talking in his sleep, but on the other... Jaskier's words hit a nerve, awoke a feeling that Geralt kept buried so deep inside his soul, he hoped he would never feel it, never need it. Love? Attachment? Passion? No, the people repeated that the witchers felt no emotions and he was more than happy to prove them right. It was easier that way.</p><p>Jaskier wriggled from under Geralt's heavy arm and sat up, making Geralt's chest feel incredibly cold immediately. He then gently turned Geralt's face towards him and placed a feather light kiss on his cheek, then on the other one. He put a finger to Geralt's lower lip, pushing his mouth open a bit and waited.</p><p>There were no sounds in the room but Jaskier's quickly beating heart, his pulse echoing in Geralt's ears. Jaskier waited.</p><p>"Jask..." Geralt tried, weakly. "Are you sure about this?"</p><p>He felt a delicate shift in the air, indicating that Jaskier nodded his head. Geralt scooted closer, carefully as if a sudden movement would scare Jaskier away.</p><p>He felt Jaskier's lips on his mouth, soft, full and gentle, and let out a whimper. Jaskier kissed him slowly, deliberately, tracing the outline of Geralt's lips with his own, his touch as delicate as a summer breeze. Geralt fought off the initial will to flee and gave in to the touch. He opened his mouth a little and let Jaskier kiss him fully.</p><p>Jaskier straddled Geralt's lap, mindful of the injured thigh, and took his face in his hands, pressing his lips closer to Geralt's and letting out a deep murmur. Hearing Jaskier's voice in his mouth made Geralt feel weak in his knees - he felt a wave of incoming emotions, a soft and warm feeling that engulfed him whole and he wrapped his arms tightly around Jaskier's back and never wanted to let go. And he wanted to see so badly, he wanted to watch his face and look into Jaskier's eyes and see if all this was true and genuine.</p><p>"I got you, Geralt," he heard Jaskier whisper right into his mouth and felt his tongue on his lips, waiting silently for an invitation.</p><p>Geralt parted his lips and let Jaskier in, his tongue warm and soft and playful in his mouth. He sighed, a deep sigh that sounded more like a groan, pressed Jaskier flush to his chest and kissed, kissed hard, as if they were gonna die tomorrow and never be close again.</p><p>With his vision obscured, Geralt's other senses were more enhanced and on edge, so he savoured everything about Jaskier he could take in. He relished in his scent, burying his nose in Jaskier's hair, nuzzling at the crook of his neck, enjoying his body heat when he grinded his hips against Geralt's. He tasted his skin, the salty pearls of sweat on Jaskier's nape, and the sweetness of his full lips. He tried to memorize the shape of his bottom and how his back muscles moved under Geralt's greedy touch. He wanted to burn into his memory the way Jaskier's voice hitched when Geralt kissed his neck while threading his fingers through his chest hair, he wanted to remember forever how perfectly melodic was the sound of Jaskier's "I love you's" whispered between kisses... In this moment he wanted Jaskier to be his and he wanted to belong to him.</p>
<hr/><p>Geralt woke up the next morning, feeling very uneasy, something dark coiling in the pit of his stomach. His shirt was gone and Jaskier's scent still lingered on his face and chest.</p><p><em>This should not have happened</em>, he thought to himself. <em>This was not the real us.</em></p><p>They were both tired, half asleep, worn out by the uneventful, apathetic last week. Jaskier was a very emotional and affectionate person, of course he would say he loved Geralt at some point. Just like he used to tell it to all his friends, lovers and concubines. Jaskier needed to love even more than he needed to be loved.</p><p>Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He felt around his blindfold, took it off, opened his eyes. Still nothing, <em>fuck</em>. He couldn't stay any longer, though. He was forever grateful to Jaskier for all his help, but he could not take advantage of him like this. A witcher was no good match for a noble born famous bard. Geralt had to break it off before it turned into a mess and hurt Jaskier eventually. He had to go.</p><p>He silently slipped from under Jaskier's warm arm, still hugging him in his sleep, got out of bed and limped slowly to the chest by the wall to retrieve his swords. He rummaged around the crate, searching for his clothes and armor. He sat on the bed's end and started getting dressed slowly. The rattling and clinking of the metal buckles woke Jaskier up. </p><p>"Mmm... Morning, love," he murmured joyfully, making cat-like sounds while stretching his limbs under the sheets.</p><p>"Hmm." Geralt shuffled awkwardly while trying to put his vambraces on.</p><p>"Wait... What are you doing?" Jaskier's voice got sober, the rustling of the sheets indicating he sat up abruptly.</p><p>"I'm..." Geralt sighed. "I'm going home."</p><p>"Home...?" Jaskier echoed dully. "Home?! But you need to recover first!"</p><p>"I need to go, if I don't get to the Blue Mountains in the next five days, the road will be snowed in completely and I won't be able to reach Kaer Morhen."</p><p>Jaskier exhaled heavily in exasperation. Geralt knew he also rolled his eyes. "Let me remind you that you're <em>blind, </em>Geralt, that's basically <em>suicide!</em>"</p><p>"I can't stay here for the whole winter," Geralt huffed. "At least not in this city."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Geralt didn't answer.</p><p>"Geralt, just let me help! Stay at an inn with me then, I'll pay for everything till you get better!" Jaskier offered, walking around the bed and sitting at Geralt's side to grab his hand. "We'll figure it out as we go!"</p><p>Geralt wanted to pull his hand away, instead he just sat there, unmoving like a stone. His eyes were itching under the blindfold. Even though he couldn't see him, he knew Jaskier was inching closer, his sweet and manly smell overwhelming. Geralt sensed his heartbeat, felt his hands getting sweaty and his breath short, nervous. He was bound to hurt Jaskier anyway, wasn't he?</p><p>"You don't need to sacrifice your time or your coin for me. I will go home, Roach knows the way, she'll get me there." Geralt wanted to sound stern but calm, instead his voice came out bitter and cold. </p><p>"Fine! If your sorry ass can't see what a stupid idea it is to go through the mountains while being <em>fucking unable to see </em>then I will have to go with you!" Jaskier shouted, arms flailing, the sudden imbalance on the mattress a sign he stood up abruptly.</p><p>"Jaskier, you can't even wield a sword, instead of helping you'd only get in my way!"</p><p>"You, on the other hand, won't see the way<em> at all</em>!" Jaskier's voice reached unpleasantly high notes, his pulse rising, so that Geralt could smell him even from the other side of the room.</p><p>Geralt groaned. He knew Jaskier would make it difficult. "Jask... I know damn too well your need to have good song material fogs up your common sense. You only want to drag along to be able to write about how heroically you helped an injured witcher on his path..." </p><p>Geralt knew this wasn't true right the moment the words left his mouth. He knew deep inside that Jaskier's intentions were pure, but he couldn't let him come with him, he couldn't let these long bottled up feelings emerge again like they did last night. One swift cut now would save them a lifetime of hurt, regret and mutual accusations.</p><p>"Ooooh, so now <em>I am </em>the bad guy, for trying to talk some reason into that empty vessel you call your brains! You could at least show some gratitude, instead of dragging my songs into this!"</p><p>"Well, fuck you, Jaskier, I don't need your pity nor your advice!" Geralt's voice was coarse as he shouted in Jaskier's general direction.</p><p>He heard a sigh in return, the rustling of Jaskier's doublet being put on, shuffling of his leather boots. "Well, fuck you right back, Geralt," Jaskier retorted, voice small and trembling.</p><p>He heard the thud of his door being closed and Jaskier's footsteps behind it getting quieter and quieter until there was no sound at all but Geralt's own raspy breath.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck. This is why I never wanted any people in my life in the first place.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>In the afternoon Geralt grabbed his swords and left his room. A page boy escorted him to the stables, offering him a helping arm whenever Geralt stumbled on the stairs. The injured leg was almost fine, just very stiff and with scabbed skin itching under the bandages. </p><p>The familiar scent of hay and horse skin hit his nose as soon as he reached the stables. It was a comforting smell, something he knew and liked, and he felt his tensed shoulders relax. He called out Roach's name and heard her neighs coming out from one of the boxes. She was as excited to see him as he was happy to be able to feel her warm skin.</p><p>"Ready to go home?" Geralt asked gently, while feeling around for his saddle and bags.</p><p>"You could have a home with me," he heard a voice coming out from another box. </p><p>He heard footsteps approaching, lavender and citrus tones hit his nose. And that goddamn smell of linseed-polished lute.</p><p>"Didn't we tell each other to fuck off, Jaskier?" Geralt asked, getting his horse ready and paying no heed to that goddamn gorgeous smell of lavender getting closer and overwhelming.</p><p>"I would much rather fuck <em>you,</em>" he heard a playful response.</p><p>Geralt huffed, his shoulders slumped. "Last night shouldn't have happened."</p><p>"What are you talking about? Last night I felt more alive than in the past ten years! If there's anything that <em>should</em> have happened is you kissing my lips like you did yesterday!"</p><p>"Why are you so difficult?!" Geralt's tone was harsh, but edging on desperate. He just wanted Jaskier to let go for the sake of his own wellbeing. He didn't deserve a person this loving and altruistic in his pathetic life. Geralt was always alone and it was good this way, simple, <em>safe.</em></p><p>"Call me difficult, call me stubborn or even desperate, like you did lots of times already, by the way, I don't care!" there was a darker tone to Jaskier's voice that Geralt didn't recognize, that make him turn around and face the bard. "I meant what I said last night and I stand by it. I love you, Geralt," now Jaskier's voice was small and trembling.</p><p>"And what about the countess?" Geralt asked mockingly, not wanting to linger on what he had just heard. He had to do all he could to not let these words get through his walls.</p><p>"Screw the countess! Ten hundred countesses couldn't make me feel how I feel around you, Geralt!"</p><p>"Jask..." Geralt tried faintly. "People loathe me, fear me, and whoever tries to get closer to me gets burned eventually. Is that what you want? Do you have no self respect to be wanting to get hurt by me?"</p><p>Geralt was tired. He tried to protect Jaskier from what he was getting himself into, but he was just so stubborn. He felt a deep longing gnawing at his insides, a perspective of being loved and protected so tempting but also absolutely impossible. Jaskier was imagining things, mistaking his friendly care for Geralt for love. Unfortunately, every word that left Jaskier's mouth hit the long forgotten soft spots in Geralt's soul. </p><p>"I stand by what I said," Jaskier repeated softly. "I love you, I want to be your home. I want to be at your side, not only as a friend but as a lover."</p><p>Geralt felt like his knees were going to give up on him. He tightened his grip on Roach's reins and sighed. That stubborn bard, with that overwhelmingly sweet smell engulfing Geralt whole, who couldn't just take "no" for an answer. </p><p>"What you did to me last night, the way you kissed me," Jaskier continued. "I know you want me too."</p><p>"I... don't... love you," Geralt replied, voice as quiet as a whisper. <em>Because I don't know how, </em>he added in his mind.</p><p>"Then kiss me, one last time..." Jaskier offered. "If you feel nothing, if you hate me, then I'll leave. Heartbroken, but at least sure you mean it."</p><p>"Jaskier, <em>please,</em>" instead of exasperated, his voice sounded pleading. Last night's feelings came in like a wave and Geralt knew, if he'd let them in, there would be no turning back.</p><p>Jaskier didn't let him think on it further, throwing himself on Geralt, the sudden weight of his body making Geralt stumble.</p><p>Jaskier kissed him, hungrily and desperately, as if he was convinced this was the last time ever. His hands were tugging painfully at Geralt's hair, his chest pressed firmly to Geralt's body, and his tongue, <em>oh gods his tongue,</em> opening Geralt's mouth almost forcefully, longing to taste him and remember it forever.</p><p>Geralt gave in to the touch, eventually, placing his hands on Jaskier's warm and trembling back, eagerly responding to his kisses, letting their teeth collide. And when Jaskier bit hard on his lip, Geralt's knees finally gave in and he fell on the ground, dragging Jaskier with him. They tumbled on the hay, hands roaming everywhere on each other's bodies, hot breaths intertwining, Geralt's growls mixing with Jaskier's deep sighs.</p><p>Geralt pulled Jaskier's face close to him one last time and felt dampness on the other's cheek. He froze immediately and drew back.</p><p>"You're crying?" he asked faintly.</p><p>"Yes, and if you continue to be that brooding, self-centred bastard, I will never stop," Jaskier replied.</p><p>Geralt reached out and found Jaskier's cheek. He wiped the tears away, traced his kiss-swollen lips with his thumb. Maybe he couldn't see him now, but he knew Jaskier was just so beautiful in that moment. Geralt wanted to kiss those tears away, to cradle Jaskier forever, to make him feel as good as Jaskier made him feel just now. So, was he bound to get hurt anyway? Or maybe he was bound to learn how to love? There was only one way to find out.</p><p>"Come home with me, Jaskier."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Whew! This was quite a challenge, cause writing emotions comes very difficult to me, so I'm really anxious to get to know your opinions! Especially because I couldn't get the Shrek/Donkey dynamic out of my head when writing the last scene haha</p><p>Every kudos and comments are more than appreciated! I am also thinking about writing a smutty sequel, cause BLINDFOLDS ARE SUCH A TURN ON, so let me know if you'd like to read that!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>